2016 recount + reflection

2016 will be over in a matter of days now and so I decided – why not do a reflection of the year? So I sat down and thought about all that has happened in this eventful year a couple of days back. All I have to say is that it was a lot. But now that it’s all over, I can pen it down. I hope that this will be a ritual for me, something I will get myself to do each and every year. So here we go! 😊

Recount
January 

January, being the first month of the year, always holds high hopes and dreams for the year. This is the time we all make new year resolutions, hoping to achieve them and perhaps failing. It is the same for me. I have to admit that I started this year so determined to excel in my studies as 2016 was the year I would take my GCE O Levels. I am by nature a determined person, that is, when I have goals. But in January, I still didn’t have any plans for my future. Not until visiting a few open houses at which I realised what I really wanted. With that goal in mind, I started studying my ass off, even though it was but January. But as fate would have it, I experienced my first big ‘fall’ in the very same month. I went through a whole whirlpool of emotions that day – from disappointment to humiliation to bitterness to shame. I don’t wish to say in detail what happened, though it was enough at that point in time to set me back.

February 

The early part of February saw my gradual recovery from the lingering feelings left over from January. Maybe it was because I had no other choice, but I went about my life as I did before. I guess initially it felt awkward but eventually things went back to normal. Thankfully.

March-April

This part of 2016 was really really really eventful! But of course it was also a time during which I had a lot of fun! There was cross-country, food and nutrition practical, literature lord of the flies play, speech day and speech day literature performance, which involved a ton of rehearsals.

May

This was around the time I had my first preliminary exams. Plus, I was taking Chinese O Levels end of May. While I wasn’t totally prepared for it, I did try my best to cram in a lot of last minute studying so that sums up May.

June

Officially the last long break / holiday for me before taking O levels (since September holidays aren’t actually a holiday). I guess I really cherished this time of rest for (I think) the day right after my prelim exams ended, I slept till 5pm HAHAHA. Of course I still had to go back to school to study (what else) but June was definitely a much needed break.

July-September

In all honesty, I came so close to giving up on everything during this period of time. Sometimes it felt like the weight on my shoulders was too much to bear and I just broke down crying. With each passing day, I was one day closer to the day I would take the exam paper that would define me, in one way or another. I remember counting down the days to the start of O levels, numbers scrawled on random pieces of paper that would guilt trip me each time I saw them. Needless to say, I didn’t go out to have any fun at all. It was purely studying and survival. You know, eating, sleeping – heck, even sleeping was a blessing of sorts – and rushing around places for tuition, extra help etc. But on a positive note, it was worth it! Also, I started this blog in July yay! 🙆🏻

October

After what felt like the longest yet shortest time, October rolled around, as with graduation day. All I remember is rushing around on that day, taking lots of photos and feeling like I finally made it (okay I’m just being dramatic it’s just secondary school I know). Graduation day was on 14 October, barely a week away from the official start of the exams. If that doesn’t tell you how nervous I was, nothing will. I was so nervous that before the first few papers I felt nauseous ugh. Thankfully, the nervousness wore off soon and I felt quite myself for the rest of the papers.

November-December

Oh my, this is so recent that I have little to no idea what to say! These two months have been a time of much relaxation and proper destress for me. I went on a couple of vacations and finally started watching Korean dramas again! My my, it feels so good that I absolutely can’t believe I abstained from them for 10 whole months (yes, for the sake of my studies). I also wrote more these two months, thanks to the extra time on my hands. It’s all good ヾ(@⌒ー⌒@)ノ

Reflection
I don’t know about you, but it’s been a truly long year for me. January feels like a million years away and I can’t believe that at this very moment, I’m still in 2016. I guess that’s what studying does. It takes away all your time while making the hours, days, weeks and months feel like an eternity. I wouldn’t know how else to express it. Some may feel that my 2016 has been a pretty mundane one and to an extent it is. I didn’t travel the world, become famous or experience anything ~interesting~ but studying was something I needed to do so I have no regrets. There’s been many highs and lows this year.. Writing this alone feels like taking an emotional journey through 2016 all over again :’) Many times I felt like giving up but I’m ever so thankful I didn’t. I’m also ever so grateful that this year has strengthened my mindset as well as my determination to accomplish what ever I dream. I couldn’t have come thus far without the help of many; from my family to my mentors to my friends. No matter the results I collect next month, I’m thankful and will accept the results I get for I have tried my best. That’s all that matters, right?  Anyway, thank you to anyone who’s reading this! I hope that you’ve had an amazing year. Here’s to a better year ahead, a greater 2017! ❤️

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