I’m searching for a reason.

I’ve never felt this way before.
I’ve never had a reason to.
This uncomfortable knot in my chest
I cannot be rid of.

A numbing distraction
Turns into a growing destruction.
The days, weeks and months even have passed me by.
Yet I always come back to the same time.

Time lost within time
Because of a lack of time.
As I search the ocean of memories,
I find little – yet much – to retrieve.

Faces I used to see everyday.
The songs that remind me of a time I can’t return to.
They play in my head long after the music has died
And the tears have dried.

What is it that I want?
This is all that I’ve ever wanted.
At least that’s what I thought.
Why cant I find within my soul the fiery passion there once was?

Perhaps I’ve built up an expectation too great
For which only disappointment can follow.
The only time I write now
Are times of sadness or worry.

Is this human nature?
We crave what we can’t have.
And when we finally get the prize,
We only want more and we question what it was all for…

 

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